Bullying is a widespread and serious problem that can happen anywhere. It is not a phase children have to go through, it is not "just messing around", and it is not something to grow out of. Bullying can cause serious and lasting harm.

Although definitions of bullying vary, most agree that bullying involves:

• Imbalance of Power - people who bully use their power to control or harm and the people being bullied may have a hard time defending themselves

• Intent to Cause Harm - actions done by accident are not bullying; the person bullying has a goal to cause harm

• Repetition - incidents of bullying happen to the same the person over and over by the same person or group

Types of Bullying

Bullying can take many forms. Examples include:

• Verbal - name-calling, teasing

• Social - spreading rumors, leaving people out on purpose, breaking up friendships

• Physical - hitting, punching, shoving

• Cyberbullying - using the Internet, mobile phones or other digital technologies to harm others

An act of bullying may fit into more than one of these groups.

Taking Control

Your feelings are important!

If you have been bullied, it may affect you in many ways. You may not want to go to school or may find it hard to do your homework. You may be losing sleep, eating more or less than usual, having headaches or stomachaches, or getting sick more often. Know that you do not have to feel this way.

• Do not blame yourself - It is easy to question whether you are the problem. But no matter what someone says or does, you should not be ashamed of who you are or what you feel.

• Be proud of who you are - No matter what they say, there are wonderful things about you. Keep those in mind instead of the disrespectful messages you get from the people who are bullying you.

• Do not be afraid to get help - Sometimes it helps to just talk to someone who is not personally involved. Teachers, counselors, and others are there to help. Seeing a counselor or other professional does not mean there is something wrong with you.

The first priority if you are being bullied is always your safety. Here are some strategies for you to consider:

• Tell them to stop

• Walk away - Do not let them get to you. If you walk away or ignore them, they will not get that satisfaction.

• Protect yourself - Sometimes you cannot walk away. If you are being physically hurt, protect yourself so that you can get away.

• Tell an adult you trust - Talking to someone could help you figure out the best ways to deal with the problem. In some cases, adults need to get involved for the bullying to stop.

• Find a safe place - Go somewhere that you feel safe and secure like the library, a favorite teacher’s classroom, or the office.

• Stick together - Stay with a group or individuals that you trust.

• Find opportunities to make new friends - Explore your interests and join school or community activities such as sports, drama, or art. Volunteer or participate in community service.

MYTHS about Bullying

• Bullying is the same thing as conflict- Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves an imbalance of power or strength, ofter repeated over time. Conflict is between two people with equal power and involves disagreement, not aggression.

• Most bullying is physical - Physical bullying may be what first comes to mind, however verbal bullying is the most common form of bullying.

• Bullying isn't serious. It is just a matter of kids being kids - Bullying can be extremely serious and can affect the mental well being, academic work, and physical health.

• Bullying doesn't happen at my child's school - Bullying is more common at some schools than others, but can happen anywhere.

• Bullying is mostly a problem in urban schools - Bullying occurs in rural, suburban, and urban communities, and among children of every income level, race, and geographic region.

• Youth who bully are mostly loners with few social skills - Children who bully do not lack friends. In fact, some research finds that bullies may have larger friendship networks than other children.

• Bullied kids need to learn how to deal with bullying on their own - Some children are able to stop bullying when it happens, however many are not. Most children lack the confidence and skills to stop bullying.

• Bullying is more likely to happen on the bus than at school - Bullying can happen on the bus, however most surveys indicate that bullying is more likely to occur on school grounds. Common locations include playgrounds, cafeterias, bathrooms, and hallways.

• Youth who are bullied will almost always tell an adult - Many children fear retaliation by the bullies and will not tell an adult.

Reference
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (2009). Retrieved from http://www.stopbullying.gov